As I prepared for motherhood before Jacob was born, I would wonder if I would say certain things. You know, those things your parents would say that you swore you wouldn't when you had kids. I figured that the probability of me repeating such phrases was high. However, there are certain phrases that I have uttered that I never really imagined would come from my mouth. I don't consider myself naive about kids, I know they climb and play with things they shouldn't. Still, that being said, I have surprised myself:
After one flattened the other out on the floor: "Please help your brother up . . .NO! Not by the head!"
"What's that in your hand, a rock? Oh, crap, put the dog poop down!!
"How on earth did you climb up on ___________ (insert any high object - piano, table, bathroom sink, counter etc)? Well, just sit still and don't fall - I want to grab my camera."
"So, I had to clean up diarrhea off the floor today as well as get it out of Aidan's hands. Thankfully he didn't eat it."
"Ok, please quit TRYING to pee on the floor."
"The toilet is not a playground. Take your hands out of it."
And these are just a few that I could actually remember. I'm sure there are more. I am certain that there will be more.